


Bourbon under the Kitchen Cabinet, The

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-02-27
Updated: 2005-02-27
Packaged: 2019-05-31 03:33:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15110924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: She'd seen When A Man Loves A Woman... she knew all the hiding places.





	Bourbon under the Kitchen Cabinet, The

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**The Bourbon under the Kitchen Cabinet The Bourbon under the Kitchen Cabinet**

**by: Montiese**

**Pairing(s):** CJ/Leo   
**Category(s):** Angst/Drama   
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** She’d seen When A Man Loves A Woman…she knew all the hiding places.  


Leo did another sigh and CJ looked at him. She didn’t say anything; she just kept walking around the mall. 

"CJ, we have to stop. I don’t know if I ever told you but long distance walking is murderous for me." 

"Leo, how long have I known you?" CJ asked. "I know that both of your knees are plastic sweetie. Why didn’t you just say something instead of sighing? Sit honey, I’m going into the Pottery Barn." 

Leo nodded, taking up one of the benches across from the store. One of their agents lingered nearby; the other followed closely behind CJ. 

"Hey babe?" 

CJ turned around. Leo pulled out his wallet and his Platinum Amex card. 

"I do have money Leo." She said. 

"They are joint Christmas presents…that is joint money. Don’t be difficult OK?" 

CJ smiled, going into the store. Her agent, Bill Grayson, kept his distance but she knew if the bullets started flying, he’d have her on the floor in less than 30 seconds. She whistled along to Baby, It’s Cold Outside while checking out antique looking photo frames and candleholders. She was looking for gifts for Donna and Ainsley. The Christmas Party was in ten days and it took that long to get Leo to stop complaining and come shopping. 

She picked up a kitschy clock for Donna, candles, and candleholders for Ainsley. The line to the register was slow so CJ looked outside. Leo was talking on his cell phone, taking a second to wave at his wife. She waved back. CJ handed the sales clerk the gifts and then the credit card. 

"Would you like boxes and a gift receipt Mrs. McGarry?" 

"I’m sorry?" it was the first time anyone other than her husband or her Secret Service detail called her by her married name. 

"Boxes or gift receipts, ma’am?" 

"Yes, thank you so much." 

CJ signed the receipt, Claudia J. McGarry, and walked out of the store. Leo was still talking on his cell phone. She could tell from his low, clipped tone that he was either talking to someone he did not like or the subject was unpleasant. 

"Hang up now or it goes in the fountain." CJ said. 

Leo looked at her; she was wearing the ‘test me’ face. 

"Ari, I have to go. No, no, I’m with my wife right now and we’re holiday shopping. Right, I know but I have to hang up now. Just give me a couple of hours to get back to you. Goodbye." 

He put the cell phone in its case on his belt loop. 

"Sorry about that baby." He said. 

"Ari Brillstein was about to be the sorry one. Is it something we can talk about?" 

"He wants 10,000 teachers for the education initiative. I told the President that 1,000 was stretching it, and so did Toby, but he will say it anyway." 

"How can you pledge 10,000 teachers when becoming a teacher is a choice?" CJ asked. 

"Exactly. Contrary to how it may sometimes seem, we do not live in a socialist society." Leo said. "Can we go home?" 

"I haven’t gotten anything for Josh yet." 

"He doesn’t celebrate Christmas CJ." 

She looked at him. Damn, she was beautiful; even when she looked like she wanted to throttle him, she was so beautiful. 

"I see El Busted Knees is in a snarky mood. You can wait in the car you know." 

"You wouldn’t be pissed?" Leo asked. 

"No. I am just going to run to the sports memorabilia store and get him a football card or something." 

"Josh likes baseball, baby." 

"I know…see I test you when I say these things. Go ahead; I’ll be along in a minute." 

"Right. Keep the Amex, but don’t go crazy on your amour." 

CJ kissed his lips softly. Leo headed for the door and she went deeper into the mall. 

\--------------------------------- 

"You are not even going to help are you?" CJ asked. 

It was Sunday night. She sat on their bedroom floor surrounded by Christmas paraphernalia. Leo sat on the bed, propped on pillows, working the New York Times Crossword. 

"I am bad at wrapping gifts and you know it. Margaret usually does it and I sign the card." 

"You are a Grinch Leo McGarry." 

"Yeah, but his heart grows at the end right?" 

"When he realizes Christmas doesn’t come from a store." CJ replied. 

Leo nodded. She looked at him and he was deep into his puzzle. 

"You don’t really hate Christmas, do you Leo?" 

He moved the paper and looked at his wife. His glasses rested on the bridge of his nose…it was a classic Leo look. 

"This is not our first Christmas together Claudia Jean, you tell me." 

"I don’t think so. I know it’s not your favorite holiday though." 

"That’s 4th of July…even after almost three decades of the Jefferson lives story. Fireworks, food, and its warm outside; I don’t think it gets better." 

"Well I love Christmas because it is the only time of the year that my whole family is together." 

Leo came to the bottom of the bed, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. 

"I am sorry that you can't make the trip to Napa this year." He said. 

CJ tilted her head back to kiss him. 

"Its OK, I have another family here. I plan to take full advantage of our first Christmas in the new house. Is Mallory going to come?" 

CJ went back to wrapping gifts. 

"No, she and her mother are going to Telluride. We’ll have the senior staff here for potluck; that should be enough. I’ll be shoving them out of the door by nine." 

CJ nodded, she was wrapping the gold cufflinks they bought for Sam. 

"Come to bed baby…that can wait until tomorrow." 

CJ looked at her watch. 

"Firstly, I have a full plate tomorrow. Secondly, it is barely 10 o’clock; I can work another hour before I go down." 

"I was not talking about sleep Mrs. McGarry." Leo said. 

She tilted her chin again to kiss him. Sam’s box got the quick wrap and CJ climbed onto the bed. Leo wrapped his arms around her, pulling her on top of him. 

"I love you Claudia Jean." 

"I love you too." 

CJ kissed him passionately and just let herself go. 

\--------------------------------- 

Tuesday was a crazy day. The damn chorus singers drove her crazy; the President was in a crabby mood; and she had to field questions on bipartisanship in the New Year. Also, Josh’s moody, withdrawn, almost angry behavior concerned her. She already made mention of it to her husband because she had seen the same thing in Toby after the shooting. 

Coming into the house at 9:30, CJ turned on one lamp in the living room before walking back into the kitchen. The radio station Leo could tolerate was in full Christmas mode…she bopped her head to The Eurythmics singing Winter Wonderland. A scowl covered CJ’s face when she saw there was still coffee in the coffeemaker. It had to be three days old. Muttering an expletive in reference to her husband, she poured the coffee down the drain. 

CJ opened the cabinet under the sink to find the Brillo pads. Seven months they lived in the house and it seemed that this cabinet was the only thing fully unpacked. It was ridiculous since they hardly used any of these things…CJ couldn’t remember the last time she was under there. Moving aside some spray and some cleanser, light bouncing off glass caught her eye. 

"Mother of God." She whispered. 

She pulled the 12 oz. flask of Southern Comfort out of its snug place between the Mr. Clean and the gallon of Clorox. It was a thin bottle, the kind her college roommate used to keep in her front pocket. It was also half-empty. Maybe it was half-full, CJ really couldn’t comprehend right now. She threw open the other cabinet door and began to throw around everything. She didn’t find anything else in there. 

Jumping off the floor with a rare grace, CJ dashed up the back stairs into the bathroom. She’d seen When A Man Loves A Woman…she knew all the hiding places. She checked the toilet bowl, under the cabinet, behind the sheets and towels in the linen closet. It was clean. In the bedroom, she looked under the bed, in his nightstand drawer where he kept his gun, and in his closet. Leo was meticulous about his suits, a strong contrast to CJ’s slob-like tendencies. She opened his armoire drawers, tossing aside boxer shorts and trouser socks. His suits were pushed to the side and CJ checked every shoebox…she found nothing but shoes. 

The powder room got the same treatment as the bathroom. God, she was getting so tired; this was a big house. Oh hell, she thought, don't forget the study. CJ’s propriety about invading Leo’s personal space went to hell as she ran around the study like a rampaging boll weevil. While she was neater when she leafed through the papers and the closets, CJ was thorough. Falling Christmas gifts nearly killed her but she could have cared less. 

OK, she was almost positive that this was the only bottle in the house. Of course, Leo had been an alcoholic for a long time…he could have them stashed in the attic or in the rafters. Wiping the tears of anger and sadness, CJ picked up the phone. 

\------------------------------------ 

Leo didn’t come in until after eleven. His meeting with the Secretaries of HUD and Commerce ran over. All that was on his mind now was cuddling with his wife and maybe getting some sex. The house was dark so Leo left the contents of his pockets and his car keys on the living room table before going up the stairs. 

"Hey CJ! CJ, are you still awake?" 

He found her sitting on the end of the bed with her head down. Further inspection found a small duffle bag between her legs and something closed in her hand. 

"CJ, baby, are you alright?" he moved closer. 

She looked up at him. Her face was red and tearstained, her eyes puffy. 

"My God, what happened? Why are you crying CJ?" he reached for her but she shrank from his touch. "You have to tell me what’s wrong." 

To be honest, Leo was scared out of his mind. He knew CJ hated to cry so if she was this upset something major was happening. 

"I’m going to stay at Donna’s." she looked at him. "I’m leaving you Leo." 

"Leaving me? I think we definitely need to talk about that Claudia Jean." 

"You asshole!" she jumped off the bed and began to pummel him with her fists. 

Leo was not a stupid man; as soon as she jumped up, he held his hands up defensively. Sometimes CJ had no idea how hard she hit. 

"How long Leo! How long?" 

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He said. 

"Stop lying to me!" she finally held up the bottle. "I found your stash." 

Leo looked at the bottle of Southern Comfort. Oh God, where did that come from? 

"That’s not mine, I swear." 

"I knew you were going to say that. Then why did I find it hidden under the kitchen cabinet? The cabinet I never go into by the way." 

"I swear to you its not mine! I don’t know who put it there and I know it looks bad." 

"You’re damn right it looks bad. I'm not going to put up with you drinking again, do you understand me? It’s me or the booze Leo, right now." 

"Its always you." He said. "That is not my bourbon, I don’t know how many more ways I can say it. Listen to me, we spend practically every hour of every day together, don’t you think you would have noticed before you found the so-called evidence. I am an alcoholic CJ, I wouldn’t have left a drop in the bottle and I wouldn’t have stopped until I hit the floor. It would be painfully obvious." 

"I don’t know if I can ever believe another word you say to me." CJ replied. 

Well, that hurt like hell. Leo closed his eyes and said a prayer. When he found out which one of the stupid bastards left it there, he was possibly going to kill him with his bare hands. 

"I don’t know how to respond to that." He said. "You know how serious I take my sobriety, and I’m still sober CJ…two years and seven weeks clean. I don’t know if I will be if you walk out on me tonight. Please, lets just sit and talk rationally." 

CJ was sobbing and it killed Leo that she would not let him near her. Yeah, he would kill… 

"CJ?" 

Was that Josh? What is he doing here, Leo thought. 

"In the bedroom Josh!" CJ exclaimed. 

Josh came up the stairs as if Lucifer were behind him. Leo went to the door to block his way inside. 

"What the hell are you doing here Josh?" Leo asked. "How the hell did you get into my house?" 

"Donna told me about the key under the flower pot." Josh looked as if he had not slept in days. "CJ, are you OK?" 

"I don’t know." She replied. 

"I think you should just go home Josh. While CJ and I are having a heated discussion she is no physical danger." 

"Donna got scared when you didn’t come over." Josh said to CJ. He looked at Leo. "I want to see that she is alright for myself." 

"Josh…" Leo warned. 

"Leo, I love and respect you like a father but I am knocking you down if I have to to get to her." 

The two men stared at each other for a few moments. 

"Leo, move out of the way dammit!" CJ said. 

Leo moved and Josh came into the room. He looked CJ over closely. 

"I’m fine Josh, and I’m sorry that Donna got scared and dragged you into this. You really shouldn’t have come." 

"What’s going on??" he asked. He had a splitting headache and did not feel like being in the middle of a domestic squabble. CJ handed him the bottle. 

"I found it under the kitchen sink." She said. 

"Jesus. Leo?" Josh looked at his mentor. 

"ITS NOT MINE!" Leo exclaimed. "Stop looking at me like that. You know what; I don't even like Southern Comfort. I was a vodka man…CJ I swear to you." 

"If its not yours than whose is it?" CJ asked. 

"I am trying to figure out the same thing." Leo replied. 

"OK." Josh said after a long silence. "I’m going to go, unless you need me to stay CJ." 

"No." she caressed his face. "You don’t look good mi amour, go home and rest. I’ll walk you out." 

"I’ll walk him out." Leo said, escorting Josh out by the elbow as he would an obnoxious child. At least he hadn’t brought Sam with him…neither one of them were in any condition to play Starsky and Hutch tonight. 

"Goodnight Claudia." Josh called up to her. 

"Goodnight Josh." 

They seemed to stay downstairs for a long time, CJ didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing. She was starting to come down from the ledge herself, going into the bathroom to pour out the bourbon. It was all true, everything that Leo said, but she knew that alcoholics were professional liars. God, the thought of Leo lying to her on that grand a scale made her want to vomit. 

"CJ?" 

She came out of the bathroom. 

"I’m a little more calm I think." She said. "We really need to talk about this." 

Leo nodded. He sat down on the bed as she stood in the doorway of the bathroom. 

"I know you don’t believe be CJ, but I am not drinking. I don’t have any other things to tell you." 

"Leo, tell me how the bourbon got under our cabinet…I don’t even keep liquor in the house." 

Leo shrugged. 

"Josh and I made a few phone calls to try and find out. You know we have been playing poker here and there has been liquor. I always tell them if they brought it, they have to take it. I guess someone just decided to stash one for next go round." 

CJ sat beside her husband on the bed. She put her arm around his shoulder. 

"I don’t know what to say or do." She said, leaning her head on his shoulder. 

"I love you so much and I would never lie to you. CJ, if I was drinking again I would be drunk right now." 

They were quiet for a long time. CJ started to cry again; Leo was grateful when she let him put his arms around her. He had to find a way to keep her from leaving tonight. The phone rang, startling them both. Leo picked it up. 

"Yeah?" 

"Its Nancy, can you talk?" 

"Yeah." 

Leo talked on the phone in his usual series of grunts and yeahs. CJ pulled away to look at him. 

"I am going to kill you, you know that right? With my bare hands Nancy." 

"Lawrence told me to put it in there…he said you would never find it." 

"Nancy, CJ almost walked out on me tonight because she thought I had a relapse. You and me, McNally…cage match!" 

CJ snatched the phone from his hands. 

"Nancy, its CJ. What the hell is going on?" 

"Its half my bourbon CJ, I was sharing with Lawrence Cahill." He was the Secretary of Labor. Lawrence thought it would be OK to leave it until next time because Leo never uses that cabinet. I want to apologize; if I made an error like that in the Situation Room a lot of people could get hurt." 

"How did this get to you?" CJ asked. 

"Kate got a call from Admiral Fitzwallace’s office, which got a call from Tim Howard, who got a call from Josh Lyman. Fitz remembered I had the bourbon at the last poker game." 

"OK." CJ said. 

"I am so sorry CJ. Are you going to be OK?" 

"Yeah, thanks Nance." 

"Are we still on for lunch Thursday?" Nancy asked. 

"If Leo hasn’t killed you, yes. Goodnight." 

"Goodnight." 

CJ hung up the phone. Leo was looking at her but she could not bring herself to look at him. 

"Look at me Claudia Jean." He said. 

"I can't." she was crying again. "I am so sorry Leo. I didn’t believe you." 

He pulled her into his arms and held tight to her. They had just made it over a major hurdle. 

"I cannot blame you for not believing me. I wouldn’t have believed me either." 

"I’m sorry." She sobbed. 

"Hey, stop saying that. Its OK baby, everything is OK. I am so proud of you for holding your ground." 

CJ looked at him, wiping her eyes. 

"What?" she asked. 

"I love you so much CJ and we are fine." 

"I said I would never believe what you said to me again and I need to apologize for that." 

Leo nodded. 

"Apology accepted. If you don’t mind I think we should forget about the whole incident." He said. 

Leo lay down on the bed and pulled CJ into his arms. 

"I love you too Leo. I can't believe I accused you…" 

"Stop it Claudia Jean, its over. I am sober, you were right to confront me, and we are fine." 

She just looked at him for a few minutes, surprised by what she knew of his personality that he had not torn the place apart in a rage. She began to undress him. Leo smiled; this is what he wanted in the first place. All that excitement had worn him down to the nub. 

"So you're going to give me some now?" Leo asked. "Is this a sympathy fuck babe?" his tone was playful. 

"Call it whatever you want. I love you and I’m going to show you." CJ said. 

"You're also going to get no argument from me." 

\----------------------------------------- 

Sam kissed CJ’s cheek. 

"The cufflinks are wonderful." He said. 

"Leo actually picked them out." CJ replied. "Go kiss him Spanky." 

"Yeah right. Is everything OK, CJ? I kind of heard from Donna…" 

"Everything is fine. We had a misunderstanding that is resolved." 

Sam put his arm around her. 

"Cool!" Josh exclaimed, holding up his Mike Piazza rookie baseball card. "Claudia Jean, I am madly in love with you." 

"Watch it buddy." Leo said. 

He was in the corner sipping a Coke. CJ went over to the couch to kiss Josh and stole a glance at her husband. He winked as Josh pulled her onto his lap and everyone on the couch had a good laugh. Leo held out his hand and CJ came around the couch to take it. 

"Get a room." Toby said, though his back was to the couple and he had no intention of turning around. 

There was more laughter from the Peanut Gallery. 

"We have to get going anyway." CJ said. "We have some last minute things to do for Christmas." 

Leo went to get their coats. After CJ sprung the mistletoe out and kissed Toby, Josh came over to her. She held the mistletoe over his head too. They shared a chaste but loving kiss. 

"Is everything alright now?" he asked. 

"I was wrong Josh. It was Nancy’s bourbon and I accused him." 

"It was a rational thought CJ." Josh replied. 

"I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself and to make matters worse Leo already has." 

"That is because he is not a dumb man. He loves you and he knows it was a rational thought. Christmas is in four days, and we all have a lot to be grateful for this year. He’s sober CJ and I don’t see that changing in the near future…hold onto that instead of guilt, OK?" 

CJ smiled, caressing Josh’s face. 

"You threatened to knock him over." She said smiling. 

"I know; that was wild. I got him to move though didn’t I?" 

CJ hugged him kissing his cheek. 

"We are going to be OK." She said. "We all have each other." 

Leo came and draped her coat on her shoulders. She smiled at him. 

"Goodnight guys." Josh said. 

Everyone said goodnight and CJ did another round of giving out hugs and kisses like Halloween candy. Leo watched her, realizing how a silly mistake almost cost him everything that was precious. He knew that he loved CJ, but until she threatened to walk out the door, he did not realize the profound nature of his feelings. A week had passed since that night. Leo forgave her immediately, and meant it, but CJ could not seem to forgive herself. He took her hand and they walked through the quiet halls of the bullpen and West Wing together. 

"Can we make a pact Claudia Jean?" he asked. 

"Another pact. Didn’t the last one almost get you hit with a hairdryer?" 

Leo smiled. 

"Yes. There was also a lint roller, and I believe a hairbrush. Still, lets make a pact." 

"OK." 

"You have got to forgive yourself for what happened last week. You know if only happened because you love me and you were concerned for me. It wasn’t like the accusation was unwarranted CJ." 

"I should have trusted you." She replied. 

"No, not about that. I can't tell you how many times I told Jenny I had stopped drinking. Drunk as a skunk telling her I was done with the booze. Stop beating yourself up…make a deal with me." 

"Yeah." She squeezed his hand. "What a hell of a way to spend out first married Christmas season." 

They walked out to their waiting Lincoln Towncar. Light snow fell as the driver held the door open for them. 

"It is certainly not going to be our last." Leo said. "Maybe next year baby will make three." 

"Leo." She looked at him. "I don't know if I'm ready yet." 

"I’ll be here when you are. I am always going to be here CJ; and we will always have difficulties. But my love for you will only strengthen." 

CJ smiled. 

"Did you get that from a Hallmark card honey?" she asked. 

Leo pinched her nose, kissed her mouth, and waved the driver on. 

"Your sweetness and sentimentality is half the reason I married you." He said. 

"Really? What’s the other half?" 

"Your boxing techniques of course." 

CJ laughed. She leaned her head on his shoulder as they rode home. 

\-------------------------------------------- 

END 


End file.
